teenagesoil:

I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.

(via mapof-theproblematique)

gorlt:

gorlt:

i’m horny but i don’t wanna masturbate because i’m tryna get right with god

you ever cum so hard ya legs start shaking n ya face get all sweaty and you hallucinate and see Jesus shakin his head no

(via turndownforwhat)

"Your kiss feels like home and I’m so fucking homesick."

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

(via fromthewordsofbecky)